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Shedding Some Light on The Aftermath of Breakups

By Nadia Warrayat No one can argue against the magic in the state of euphoria induced by falling in love - for the ones that have experienced the feeling of unity when two become one. The

By Nadia Warrayat

No one can argue against the magic in the state of euphoria induced by falling in love – for the ones that have experienced the feeling of unity when two become one. The one common denominator among all races of the many nation states, is that thirst for wanting to know what love is, it’s like walking in the desert and following the mirage of the illusion of love, until a person hits the jackpot and rides on the bandwagon love. But the pitfall is the end of the journey of love in what is a breakup. Our conversations are dominated by the subject matter of love and the lyrics of music re-create words on the beauty of the emotion of love and the pain on the other side, the loss of it.

 

 

If love were to be captured in a pill, it would be the antidote to depression. In fact according to a study conducted by the biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, when a person falls in love, the neurotransmitter dopamine is activated in our brain inducing a natural high where emotions that are positive are amplified and the neural pathways creating negative emotions such as thoughts of fear become null. Similarly, the effect on the brain chemicals and surge of hormones when a breakup happens mirrors that of a drug addict withdrawal symptoms. In fact, an experiment using an MRI scan was conducted on a number of individuals going through a breakup, revealing that the pain experienced from the breakup was like the pain of a broken limb.

 

 

Almost everyone went through a breakup and most often than not, experienced the tragedy of feeling the intensity of pain associated with loss. Parting ways with someone you loved so deeply and shared a chapter of your life with opens a wound that takes time to heal, and for some it leaves behind a scar that is hard to erase, because simply put that loss makes one jaded. No matter how painful the breakup is, the next step in the process is crawling into the moving on stage, and with it, a person has to deal with the burden of carrying a suitcase full of memories glued to the subconscious, leaving the broken hearted in a constant state of turmoil as if riding a roller coaster of pain. More often than not a person engages in inner conversations of self-blame questioning what they have said or done to drive away the one they were anticipating a lifetime with.

 

 

Having the neuroscience background on the inner impact of a breakup, sheds light on how to deal with it. So don’t feed the regions of your brain more knowledge on the partner from your past to avoid a surge of hormones that bring you down. For example, avoid seeing them through pictures, social media, places and experiences you had and did together. Then you can have a conversation with logic, and question the lack of communication and honesty from your ex-lover that didn’t have it in them to communicate what has distanced them from you. Don’t chase after the one that abandoned you and the last thing you want to do to yourself is blame yourself for not being loved back, it’s just the person was not made for you and is not worthy of you consuming yourself with suffering. While the pain of breakups are controlled by chemicals induced in the regions of our brain that make us feel pain, you have the power to take control back. You know it’s not worth drowning in pain for that ex-lover, now that you know the neuroscience behind it, feed your mind new thoughts and define what you want. Know this much that everyone deserves to be loved, so don’t settle for anything but mutual and genuine love.

 

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