It is a daunting question that has been on my mind for a while, but why do the relationships and love don’t often last long these days?

Not so long ago, life was relatively simpler; one would find their love, tie the knot and then proceed to build a new joint life together while supporting each other through thick and thin. It seems that the current generations simply prefer to get a new item if the old one broke, in contrast to the older generations where things would rather be fixed than replaced.

Let’s explore this a little more. Before the social media phenomena, we tended to ask one another about our day and how we generally were; if one needed something, they would have to call and ask for it- everything required action on each behalf. It was all about making an effort, which is the action that would often be followed by respect and trust towards that person. After all, we are all innately born with the need of struggle in order to understand the true value of something.

“We celebrate, argue, get angry with emoticons”

I would like to touch upon a few subjects that I believe could be the factors that influence the current state of relationships and closeness.

Finance

As the cost of living climbs up, our stress levels climb up with it. One would be naive to believe this stress doesn’t strain relationships. The stress further affects couples who often decide to separate in order to live a more fulfilling life. Overall greed and obsession with material things have become one of our main sicknesses.

(Dis)connect

Today, we are more connected than ever, yet are so far away and detached. For many, the reality is they have not seen the face of their loved one the last time they spoke to each other; you could be at work, gym, with your kids at a football game or may as well be in the same room; dinner reservations are scheduled through WhatsApp, flowers bought and delivered via an app. What I am getting to here is that there is no more physical connection and while I am not battering the technology, it must be noted that we have developed relationships with technology and not each other. Human emotion is removed from relationships, and it has been replaced with colourful bubbles, which are being accepted and appreciated. We celebrate, argue, get angry with emoticons. Where is the good old heart to heart conversation gone to? Having lost the skill of communication, how can one have a healthy relationship? If not talking to one another for a whole day was perfectly acceptable a decade ago, now it isn’t and you might very well be accused of cheating. Preoccupation is taking over, we here yet not in the present moment of what is happening around us. Scrolling through Instagram is now crucial, whereas in the past, people were preoccupied with loving each other, talking to each other at the dinner table, holding hands and going for work without holding their phones is if the world depended on it.

Attention

While for celebrities, attention and fame is their bread and butter, social media has given everyone else an opportunity to be famous. Social media, however has given everyone an oppertunity to be famous. With social media there are now many options and plenary of people willing to settle for anything that is dished.

Privacy

We’ve thrown privacy out the window these days. Nothing is sacred anymore. In fact, our private lives are splattered all over the web for the world to see. Having breakfasts together, vacations and fun times as a couple loses its charm when it becomes more of a photo shoot. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with sharing moments of your life, we all do so, but when do we draw the line?

In the end, I do fear that the world we live in today has put road blocks in the way of marriage and committed relationships as everyone is living in the illusionary state. These are my observations.

Live deliciously,

Kay Joosub