We all get lonely, we so often talk about our goals and what we strive to achieve, we are all obsessed with the science of happiness and positivity. Many of us talk about our day to day struggles and don’t even feel shy to talk about our relationship status, we even make it public.
However, in the midst of all this sharing, I have noticed that loneliness is one of the most embarrassing topics of discussion. I would say eight out of ten people that I work with have loneliness as the root core of their issues.
It is possible to be in a relationship and still be lonely; it is possible to be part of a very active family and still be lonely. Loneliness is one of the most widespread causes of pain and we live at the time where every tool, be it social media, apps, the Internet, is set to mask this epidemic.
Those with millions of followers still feel lonely when the day is done. The insidious part of being lonely is that you feel you are the only one suffering and others aren’t. Are you to blame? Look at the amazing lives of many people posted online, the places they visit, the hordes of friends they have. They are probably as lonely as you are, because we all live mundane lifestyles, sometimes fun but mostly serious.
On a lighter note, people show what they want to portray not what they really go through, so there is no point in hammering yourself too much.
There are two myths I would like to dispel: first is that others are having a different experience in life to yours. We are all lonely at times and there are various forms of loneliness. There’s the loneliness of not having someone to be truly in love with; there is the loneliness of not having people to love, be it friends or family; there is the loneliness of having an idea that you think no one else accepts; there is the loneliness of being alone with your thoughts where you feel you are the only one who thinks a certain way and no one else does, which can be extraordinary lonely.
The second myth I want to dispel is that loneliness is not so bad when compared to solitude. There are many books written on solitude; solitude creates growth, it allows one to get in touch with oneself; it could produce great results, while adding more depth and focus. In other words, solitude is not something bad at all.
To wrap it up I would like to highlight that none of us are as lonely as we usually think we are. Most of us are feeling it too. If it is too painful and unbearable, please speak up! We live in the age of information and connectivity at our fingertips, so don’t be shy when the time is tough.
Lifestyle coach in Science of Positivity.